Is My Houseplant Judging Me? A Deep Dive into My Monstera‘s Mind
The Day My Monstera Raised an Eyebrow
Let’s be honest, plant parents. We’ve all been there. That moment when you lock eyes with your leafy companion and swear you see a flicker of judgment in their… well, lack of eyes. It happened to me last Tuesday. I was sprawled on the couch, shamelessly devouring a bag of chips, reruns of a reality TV show I’m too embarrassed to name playing on the screen. As I reached for another chip, my hand brushed against my majestic Monstera Deliciosa, Phil.
And that’s when it happened. One of Phil‘s giant, perforated leaves tilted. Ever so slightly. Like a judgmental eyebrow raised in a silent, “Seriously?”
Exhibit A: The Case of the Unwatered Succulent
Remember Gary, the succulent I adopted with promises of a bright future and well-drained soil? Yeah, about that. Gary didn’t fare so well. Apparently, “low-maintenance” doesn’t mean “no-maintenance” (who knew?). One overwatering incident (or three) later, Gary went to the great plant shop in the sky. And you know who witnessed the whole sorry saga? Phil. He sat there, silently observing as I over-compensated with affection, then ultimately, failed Gary.
I swear, I saw a new leaf unfurl the day after Gary went to succulent heaven. Coincidence? I think not.
Exhibit B: The Great Unwashed Dishes Debacle
We all have those days. The ones where even the thought of putting on pants feels like a monumental task, let alone tackling the Mount Everest of dirty dishes piled precariously beside the sink. One such day, I was feeling particularly unmotivated. I shuffled past Phil, takeout container in hand, and swore I heard a rustle of disapproval. Okay, maybe it was just the air conditioning vent, but still. The timing was uncanny.
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