When Your Brain Has No Filter (and You’re in the Express Lane)
We all have that inner voice, the one narrating our lives, offering unsolicited advice, and occasionally bursting into song at the worst possible times. Mine, however, has a flair for the dramatic and zero regard for social cues.
Usually, I can keep this inner motormouth under wraps. But last Tuesday, it decided to audition for a leading role in my life – choosing the grocery store express lane as its stage.
Picture this: me, innocently waiting to buy coffee, cereal, and, yes, bananas. The guy ahead of me, let’s call him Mr. Intensity, was meticulously scrutinizing avocados like they held the secrets to the universe.
“Seriously, dude?” my inner voice scoffed. “Just pick one already! They all look the same after a day or two anyway.”
Except, I actually said that last part. Out loud. To Mr. Intensity. Who, unsurprisingly, was not amused.
Cue the internal screaming. My face matched the overripe tomatoes I’d forgotten. I mumbled something incoherent about avocado ripeness being subjective (what?!) and wished for the floor to swallow me whole.
The Walk of Shame: Embracing the Awkward Silence
The rest of the interaction was a blur of awkward silence and frantic internal apologies. I’m pretty sure I paid using a combination of hand gestures and pure mortification.
Practically sprinting out, I could’ve sworn I heard Mr. Intensity’s judgment echoing behind me: “She thinks ALL avocados look the same? Amateur.”
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