The Great Phone Number Mix-Up of 2023 (and Why I Still Answer to ‘Brenda’)



We’ve all been there. You’re going about your day, innocently sipping your coffee, when suddenly your phone erupts with the shrill cry of a wrong number. Maybe it’s a confused grandma looking for “Timmy,” or a teenager desperately trying to reach “Chad.” Usually, a quick “You’ve got the wrong number” suffices, and you move on with your life. But friends, my story? Oh, it’s a saga.

The Day My Phone Became a Portal to Brenda‘s World

It all started innocently enough. A call from an unknown number. I answered with my usual, “Hello?” A chipper voice on the other end chirped, “Hi Brenda! It’s Cindy from [Insurance Company I Will Not Name]. Are you still interested in that life insurance quote?”

Now, I’m about as far from a “Brenda” as you can get. My name is decidedly not Brenda. It’s not even close to Brenda. So, I politely informed Cindy that she had the wrong number. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she chirped, and that, I thought, was that.

The Calls That Launched a Thousand Wrong Numbers

Reader, I was wrong. So, so wrong. Over the next few weeks, my phone became a hotline to Brenda’s life. I received calls from:

  • The pharmacy reminding “Brenda” to pick up her prescription.
  • A frantic woman claiming to be Brenda’s sister, demanding to know why Brenda hadn’t picked up her kids from soccer practice.
  • And yes, dear reader, even more calls from Cindy from [Insurance Company I Will Not Name], each time more insistent than the last that Brenda needed to secure her future.
Humorous illustration of a person skydiving with a phone clutched in their hand

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