Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me
The Side-Eye Was Real
I swear it started with a side-eye. You know, that subtle yet unmistakable tilt of the head that says, “Seriously? You’re doing that again?” Except, it wasn’t my roommate or significant other giving me the look—it was Herbert, my peace lily.
Okay, maybe I was projecting a little. It’s not like Herbert has eyes, let alone the capacity for judgment… right? And yet, ever since I adopted this leafy green companion, I’ve felt a distinct shift in our dynamic—one where I’m pretty sure I’m the one under scrutiny.
That’s when I noticed it. Herbert, usually a beacon of verdant glory, was drooping. I’m not talking about a gentle lean—this was a full-on theatrical wilt, leaves practically kissing the floor. Naturally, I panicked. Had I forgotten to water him? Was he getting too much sun? Was this the plant equivalent of a dramatic sigh?
Turns out, I had overwatered him. As I diligently sopped up the excess water, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Herbert was sending a message: “Get it together, human. This pity party is so two weeks ago.”
Exhibit B: The Flourishing Success
But here’s the thing that really seals the deal. Remember that deadline I mentioned? Well, I powered through it. Fueled by caffeine and sheer determination, I finished the project a day early, even impressing my notoriously hard-to-please boss.
Basking in the glow of accomplishment (and maybe that extra shot of espresso), I glanced over at Herbert. And wouldn’t you know it, the little guy was practically glowing. His leaves were perky, his color vibrant, practically radiating an aura of “See? I knew you could do it.”
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