We all know that plants need sunlight, water, and the occasional pep talk to thrive. But what about judgment? Can our leafy roommates actually sense our questionable life choices? I’m starting to think so.
When My Plant Side-Eyed My Takeout Habit
It all started innocently enough. I was unpacking my third takeout container of the week, the smell of greasy noodles wafting through my apartment. As I shamelessly dug in, I caught a glimpse of Oswald, my peace lily, out of the corner of my eye.
Okay, I know. It sounds crazy. But the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. Oswald had borne silent witness to my descent into takeout hell. He’d seen the empty wine bottles (plural) next to the recycling bin, the mounting pile of laundry in the corner, and my complete inability to fold a fitted sheet.
Suddenly, I felt like a teenager whose mom had just caught them sneaking in after curfew. Except, my mom was a leafy green plant with an uncanny ability to make me feel incredibly judged.
The Case for Plant Judgment: The Great Repotting Debacle of 2023
My suspicions about Oswald’s judgment were only fueled by subsequent events. Like the Great Repotting Debacle of 2023, for example.
Armed with the best intentions (and a YouTube tutorial), I decided to repot my poor, rootbound friend. I envisioned a beautiful, zen-like experience. In reality, it was more like a scene from a gardening horror film.
I’m talking spilled soil coating the floor, a broken pot (RIP, favorite ceramic), and me accidentally snapping off one of Oswald’s prized leaves. (Don’t worry, I gave him a plant bandaid. They’re a thing, right?)
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