My Personal Elevator From Hell
We’ve all been there. Packed into a metal box hurtling through the floors of an office building, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with strangers. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded elevator ride.
Just the other day, I found myself in an elevator situation so awkward, it could only be described as a scene straight out of “The Twilight Zone.” Picture this: I’m squished between a guy loudly discussing his fantasy football league on speakerphone and a woman who seems to think her perfume is a superpower.
This experience got me thinking about the unspoken rules of elevator etiquette, those subtle social contracts we make to survive these short, strange journeys together. So, for the sake of humanity, let’s break them down, shall we?
Rule #1: Respect the Elevator Bubble
Personal space. We all crave it, especially in the confines of an elevator. Yet, some people seem to forget the concept of a personal bubble the second those elevator doors slide shut. They stand too close, their backpack smacks you in the face, their loud conversation invades your thoughts.
Remember folks, an elevator is not your personal phone booth or karaoke stage. It’s a shared space, so let’s try to maintain a respectful distance and keep the volume down.
Rule #2: The Elevator Button: A Sacred Duty
Ah, the button pusher. The designated hero of the elevator ride, responsible for ensuring everyone reaches their desired floor. This is a position of power, not to be taken lightly.
Don’t be the person who frantically presses the already-lit button for their floor. Don’t be the person who tries to squeeze past everyone else to reach a button when someone closer could easily do it. And for the love of all that is holy, do not, I repeat, DO NOT hold the elevator door for your buddy who’s running late while everyone else watches in silent agony.
Leave a Reply