The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)


We’ve all seen them. Those mythical creatures who bound out of bed at the crack of dawn, chirping about sunshine and the promise of a fresh pot of coffee. They actually choose to exercise before the workday begins. These, my friends, are the morning people. And for a brief, shining moment, I thought I could be one of them.

Operation: Rise and Shine (More Like Rise and Whine)

My foray into the world of early rising began, ironically enough, in the dead of night. Scrolling through Pinterest at 2:00 AM, I stumbled upon countless infographics touting the benefits of waking up early: increased productivity, reduced stress levels, the ability to actually make a decent breakfast. I was sold.

morning routine. This involved things like “meditation” (read: panicking about how little sleep I was getting) and “journaling” (scribbling incoherent sentences in the dark).

The Yogurt Explosion: A Sign From the Universe?

The first few days were rough. My brain felt like it was perpetually stuck in a fog bank, and I relied heavily on industrial-strength coffee to function. But then, something miraculous happened. One morning, I woke up before my alarm went off. I felt…dare I say…rested?

Maybe, just maybe, I was becoming one of them.

Fueled by this newfound sense of morning personhood, I decided to make a healthy breakfast. I grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and…well, let’s just say I forgot that unopened yogurt containers have a tendency to explode when shaken vigorously.

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