The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

The 5 AM Alarm Clock Debacle

Let me set the scene: 4:58 AM. My alarm clock, which I had lovingly nicknamed “The Rooster” (due to its earsplitting crowing sound), decided to unleash its fury upon my peaceful slumber. Now, for most normal, functioning members of society, this would be a sign to rise and shine. For me, it was more akin to a horror movie jump scare.

You see, I, my friends, am not a morning person. I’m more of a “let’s stay up late watching documentaries about the mating habits of deep-sea creatures” kind of person. But, like a moth to a flame (or perhaps more accurately, a zombie to brains), I was drawn to the seductive idea of becoming a morning person.