Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant Is Secretly Judging Me
We’ve all been there. You’re sprawled on the couch in your oldest sweatpants, haven’t showered in a day (or two…), and you catch a glimpse of your perfectly poised houseplant. Its leaves are gleaming, its posture impeccable. And in that moment, you just know it’s silently judging your life choices.
The Time My Fiddle Leaf Fig Threw Shade
My suspicions began with Fiona, my majestic fiddle leaf fig. I’d showered her with love (and a carefully calibrated amount of filtered water), yet she remained stubbornly aloof. Then, one particularly chaotic morning, as I was frantically searching for my keys, I swore I saw it—a single leaf, ever so slightly, tilted in judgment.
No new growth. No subtle lean towards the light. Just pure, unadulterated sulking. It’s enough to make you question your entire existence.
My Peace Lily: Encouragement or Condescension?
It’s not always judgment, though. Sometimes, it feels more like encouragement—albeit, a slightly condescending kind. Take my peace lily, Penelope, for example. She’s a dramatic soul, prone to wilting dramatically if I’m even a day late with her watering schedule.
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