The Unspoken Rules of Being a Line-Stander (And Why I’m Now an Expert)

 

My Line-Standing Baptism by Fire

Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys waiting in line. But then there are those moments, those glorious, once-in-a-lifetime experiences that require… well, standing in line. Like that time I waited 12 hours for the Star Wars premiere. Yes, 12 hours. It’s a period of my life I refer to as my “line-standing baptism by fire.”

I went in a naive rookie; I emerged a seasoned veteran of the queue. I had seen it all: line-cutters, bathroom break negotiations, the camaraderie of shared misery (and snacks). I learned the hard way that there’s an unspoken code of conduct in the world of line-standing. So, my friends, allow me to impart my hard-earned wisdom.

Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Cutteth the Line

This should go without saying, but apparently, it doesn’t. Cutting in line is a cardinal sin, punishable by a thousand death glares (and possibly a stern talking-to). We’ve all been there, patiently inching forward, only to have someone waltz in with an air of entitlement and try to squeeze in front of us. Don’t be that person.

Pro-tip: If someone tries to pull this stunt on you, a simple “Excuse me, the back of the line is that way” delivered with a friendly smile (and a pointed finger) usually does the trick.

Rule #2: The Art of the Bathroom Break

Nature, as they say, waits for no man (or woman). And when you’ve been holding your bladder for an hour, desperately hoping you don’t miss your spot in line, things can get dicey. Here’s the protocol:

• The Buddy System is Key: Always, and I repeat always, have someone hold your place. This isn’t the time to make new friends – enlist a trusted companion in your line-standing adventure.
• Keep It Brief: This isn’t your time to scroll through social media or catch up on emails. Get in, do your business, get out.
• Express Gratitude: A sincere “thank you for holding my spot” upon your return is not only polite but also helps avoid any awkwardness.

Rule #3: Embrace the Shared Experience (and Snacks!)

Look, I get it. Standing in line can be tedious. But it can also be an opportunity to connect with your fellow humans (and maybe even make a friend or two). Strike up a conversation. Share a laugh (or a groan) about the wait time.

And for the love of all that is holy, bring snacks. Sharing is caring, people. I once made a lifelong friend over a bag of gummy bears while waiting for a roller coaster. (Okay, maybe not lifelong, but we did exchange numbers. And isn’t that what really matters?)

So, Are You Ready to Stand in Line Like a Pro?

There you have it. My crash course in the unspoken rules of line-standing. Now go forth and conquer those queues, my friend! What are your most memorable (or disastrous) line-standing experiences? Share your stories in the comments below!