The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (And How Not to Break Them)
We all know the feeling. That awkward, silent ride with that person breaking all the unspoken rules of elevator etiquette. Let’s laugh about it (and maybe learn a thing or two).
My Personal Elevator Nightmare
The other day, I crammed myself into a packed elevator, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with the sea of briefcases and handbags. You know the drill, the classic “pretend to be fascinated by your phone” maneuver. Suddenly, a wave of potent perfume, smelling vaguely of a grandma’s potpourri drawer, washed over me. I dared a glance and saw him: a man, practically bathing in a vat of cologne, completely oblivious to the olfactory distress he was causing.
This, my friends, is a prime example of the unspoken rules of elevator etiquette gone wrong. We’ve all been there. We’ve all silently judged (and maybe even been the ones judged). So, let’s unpack (pun intended, you’ll see why) the unwritten code of conduct for the modern elevator journey.
Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Be a “Close Talker”
Let’s be real, elevators are basically metal boxes hurtling us through the air at questionable speeds. Personal space is already at a premium. So, when someone insists on standing uncomfortably close, breathing down your neck, it’s just not cool.
Pro-tip: Maintain a healthy bubble. Imagine you’re carrying an invisible beach ball around you – nobody wants their beach ball popped!
Rule #2: Silence is Golden, But So is Common Courtesy
Look, we get it. Elevators can be awkward. That silence, punctuated only by the soft ding of passing floors, can feel deafening. But that doesn’t mean you should subject your fellow passengers to your life story, a loud phone conversation, or worse – your questionable taste in music.
The exception to the rule: A simple “good morning” or a polite nod goes a long way. And hey, if someone’s struggling with a heavy package, offer a helping hand!
Rule #3: Your Lunch Doesn’t Need a Ride
You know that delicious, garlicky Pad Thai you had for lunch? Yeah, your fellow elevator passengers can smell it too. And while we’re on the topic of smells, let’s address the elephant (or rather, the gym bag) in the room.
Golden rule of thumb: Keep strong scents contained. That goes for pungent food, excessive perfume, and yes, even your sweaty gym clothes. Nobody wants to experience your workout on the way to the 10th floor.
Are We All Just Trapped in a Metal Box of Social Anxiety?
Elevator etiquette really boils down to one thing: being mindful of others. We’re all just trying to get where we’re going, one awkward, silent ride at a time. So, let’s make the journey a little less painful by following these unspoken rules. Or at least, let’s have a good laugh about it later.
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