Confessions of a Recovering Plant Killer (And How You Can Avoid My Fate)



From Green Thumb to Brown…Everything

Okay, friends, let’s be honest. How many perfectly healthy plants have you accidentally murdered? Don’t be shy, I’m not here to judge. I, myself, am a recovering plant killer. My journey started with the best of intentions. I envisioned a lush indoor jungle, overflowing with vibrant greenery. What I got instead was more akin to a plant graveyard.

My downfall? Let’s just say I treated my poor succulents like they were cacti in the Sahara Desert.

like a cry for help, and who was I to deny it a refreshing deluge?

Turns out, plants are a bit like Goldilocks. They like their water just right – not too much, not too little. Who knew? Apparently, everyone but me. After drowning several more innocent plants (R.I.P. Philodendron Phil), I finally invested in a moisture meter.

Sunlight? What Sunlight?

My reign of plant-based terror didn’t end there. Oh no, I had more lessons to learn. The next misunderstanding involved a very confused-looking snake plant. Now, I’d heard these guys were basically invincible. “They can handle low light,” the internet promised.

So, naturally, I stuck it in a dark corner and promptly forgot about it.