We’ve all been there. You walk into your living room, glance at your leafy companion basking in the sun, and swear you see a flicker of…disdain? Okay, maybe not outright disdain, but definitely something. A subtle shift of its leaves, a droop in its posture – something that screams, “Seriously? You again?”
The Case of the Crooked Watering Can
My suspicions began innocently enough. I was watering Philodendron Phil (yes, I name my plants, don’t judge), humming along to some questionable 90s pop, when I caught Phil’s…eye? I guess you could call it an eye. Anyway, he was definitely giving me the side-eye. I paused my off-key rendition of “Barbie Girl” and tilted my head.
“What’s up, Phil?” I asked, because clearly, I talk to my plants. No judgment, please.
The Great Fertilizer Fiasco
Then there was the Great Fertilizer Fiasco of 2023. Look, I was tired, okay? And I may have mistaken the fish emulsion for my morning protein shake. (Don’t ask). Anyway, the point is, I accidentally gave Phil a double dose of the good stuff.
The next morning, I found him positively flourishing. Leaves bigger, greener, practically vibrating with life. But as I leaned in to admire my handiwork, I noticed it. That subtle, knowing tilt of his…leaf? Stem? Whatever. He was smug, I tell you. Smug! Like he knew he’d played me and come out smelling like roses (or, well, fish).