We’ve all been there. Scrolling through Instagram at midnight, stumbling upon a picture of some impossibly chipper individual greeting the sunrise with a green smoothie and a yoga pose. “They’re already up and conquering the world,” we think to ourselves, “while I’m here, entangled in my duvet like a burrito.”
This, my friends, is how the siren song of the morning routine first lured me in. I, too, yearned to be that annoyingly productive person who effortlessly ticked off to-do lists before the sun had even bothered to rise.
My Grand Plan to Become a Morning Person (Spoiler Alert: It Involved a Lot of Alarms)
My transformation from night owl to early bird began with military-grade planning. I’m talking color-coded schedules, motivational quotes plastered on my ceiling (don’t judge), and enough alarms to wake the dead. I’m talking about five alarms, each with increasingly aggressive names like “GET UP, SLEEPYHEAD!” and “YOU’RE LATE FOR LIFE!”
The first morning, I actually managed to drag myself out of bed before the sun. Feeling like a champion, I stumbled to the kitchen, brewed some coffee that tasted suspiciously like burnt tires, and attempted some morning stretches. Let’s just say my downward dog looked more like a confused dachshund.
