Clock)

Let’s be honest, folks. The world is divided into two types of people: those who greet the sunrise with open arms and those who glare at it with the burning resentment of a thousand suns. Guess which category I fall into?

You guessed it. I’m a card-carrying member of the Night Owls Society. My brain, for some inexplicable reason, decides to unleash a torrent of creativity and productivity right around the time the rest of the world is drifting off to dreamland.

But then came that fateful day. My well-meaning (and infuriatingly chipper) friend, Sarah, convinced me that becoming a “morning person” was the key to unlocking a world of success, happiness, and probably finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I, being the gullible soul that I am, decided to give it a shot. This, my friends, was the beginning of my downfall.

Operation Sunrise: A Comedy of Errors

Armed with a new alarm clock (one that could probably wake the dead with its obnoxious chirping), I set out on my quest to conquer the morning. My plan was foolproof (or so I thought):

1. Wake up at 6:00 am (sharp!).
2. Go for a jog (because apparently, that’s what all those annoyingly energetic morning people do).
3. Whip up a healthy breakfast (goodbye, coffee and donuts, hello, green smoothie!).
4. Start the day feeling refreshed and accomplished.

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