The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

The 5 AM Pact (Spoiler: I Broke It)

Let me set the scene: It’s 2:30 AM, and I’m wide awake, scrolling through pictures of impossibly perky people greeting the sunrise with green smoothies and yoga poses. “I could be like them,” whispers the sleep-deprived voice in my head. “I, too, can become one with the morning.” And so, in a haze of delusion and Instagram envy, I make a pact with myself: tomorrow, I will become a Morning Person™.

like a gentle suggestion to wake up, one that I repeatedly dismiss with the fury of a thousand snooze buttons.

After a solid hour of this auditory assault, I finally drag myself out of bed, feeling less like a “morning person” and more like a grumpy zombie who desperately needs coffee.

The Accidental Nap Debacle (and Other Morning Misadventures)

Remember that whole “being productive before work” fantasy I had? Yeah, that didn’t quite pan out. My morning routine went something like this:

  1. Stumble around the kitchen, attempting to make coffee without burning the house down.
  2. Accidentally pour orange juice in my cereal.
  3. Get halfway through a work email before succumbing to the allure of an “accidental” nap on the couch.