From Zero to Line Hero: My Line-Standing Origin Story
Let’s be honest, nobody likes waiting in line. We all have places to be, people to see, TikToks to scroll through (don’t judge). But, like a rite of passage, we all find ourselves stuck in the queue eventually. And that, my friends, is where my story begins.
It all started innocently enough. A new ramen shop opened downtown, promising bowls of steaming, umami goodness. The catch? The line snaked around the block like a hungry python. Did that deter me? Please, a little wait never hurt anyone, right? Little did I know, I was about to get a crash course in the art of line-standing.
After a solid hour of shuffling forward, the call of nature beckoned. But abandoning my hard-earned spot? Unthinkable! That’s when I learned the unspoken rule: The Phantom Bathroom Break Buddy System.
You find someone who looks trustworthy (or at least like they won’t steal your place) and strike up a conversation. Casual mentions of needing to “stretch your legs” or “grab a quick coffee” are the usual code. They watch your spot, you return the favor when their bladder starts complaining. It’s a beautiful, unspoken agreement forged in the fires of shared impatience.
Line-Standing Rule #2: Mastering the Art of the Line-Cutter Stare Down
Listen, there are few things more infuriating than a line-cutter. They waltz in, oblivious (or maybe not) to the silent fury they’re unleashing. This, my friends, is where the “Line-Cutter Stare Down” comes in.
It’s a delicate dance. You want to convey your displeasure without resorting to actual words (unless absolutely necessary, then unleash the Kraken!). The key is a sustained, icy glare, ideally accompanied by a subtle headshake and a symphony of disapproving “hmms” from your fellow line-standers. Trust me, it works (most of the time).