We’ve all been there. Crammed into a metal tube hurtling through the sky, desperately trying to find a comfortable position while battling the urge to strangle the guy snoring next to you. Air travel: it’s the gift that keeps on giving, right?
My Epic Armrest Battle (And How I Won)
I once found myself in an epic, silent battle over an armrest. It was a transatlantic flight, and I was sandwiched between a businessman who clearly believed the armrest was his birthright and a woman who kept falling asleep on my shoulder (no offense to her, I make a terrible pillow). After hours of passive-aggressive elbow jostling, I finally caved and resorted to desperate measures – I spilled my orange juice on the coveted armrest. Was it petty? Absolutely. Did it work? You bet! The businessman didn’t want to go anywhere near that sticky mess. Victory was mine (though it did smell faintly of citrus for the rest of the flight).
Let’s talk about airplane coffee. What is it about being 30,000 feet in the air that makes coffee taste like… that? Is it the altitude? The tiny cups? The fact that they heat the water by harnessing the power of the engine? (Okay, I might have made that last one up). Whatever the reason, airplane coffee remains one of life’s great unsolved mysteries. And don’t even get me started on the creamer situation… those little plastic tubs are like a science experiment gone wrong.
Overhead Bin Etiquette: The Unspoken Rules of Air Travel
We’ve all witnessed (or perhaps been) the person who tries to cram a suitcase the size of a small car into the overhead bin. It’s a delicate ecosystem up there, people! There are unspoken rules:
- Rule #1: One carry-on bag per person. No, your “personal item” does not include a week’s worth of snacks and a portable foot spa.
- Rule #2: Larger bags go towards the back of the plane. This isn’t rocket science, folks.
- Rule #3: If you see someone struggling, offer to help. Unless they’re trying to cram that small car in, then it’s every man for himself.