Posted in Personal Essay

Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant Is Secretly Judging Me

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Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant Is Secretly Judging Me

The Time My Fiddle-Leaf Fig Sided With My Cat

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. You’re having a particularly rough day, haven’t showered in a questionable amount of time, and your only solace is collapsing onto the couch with a pint of ice cream. But as you shamefully shovel that chocolate fudge brownie into your face, you swear you catch a glimpse of judgment from the corner of the room. No, not your roommate… your plant.

Okay, maybe I’m projecting a little. But ever since I became a plant parent, I can’t shake this feeling that my leafy companions are silently observing my every move, judging my questionable life choices one wilted leaf at a time. And the worst part? I think they’re starting to side with my cat.

plant humidifier to mimic his tropical homeland. But then, Mr. Whiskers, my mischievous feline overlord, discovered the joys of batting at Bruce’s delicate leaves. I’d scold Mr. Whiskers, of course, but Bruce… Bruce never seemed too bothered. In fact, I swear I saw a new leaf unfurl after a particularly aggressive swatting session. Was my plant… enjoying this? Was he conspiring with my cat?

The Case of the Dramatic Peace Lily

Then there’s Penelope, my peace lily. Now, Penelope is a drama queen of the highest order. One day she’s thriving, the next she’s dramatically drooping like I’ve forgotten to water her for centuries (spoiler alert: it’s usually been, like, two days). But the thing is, Penelope reserves her most theatrical performances for when I’m having guests over.

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