Percy, was giving me the side-eye. You know the one – a subtle tilt of the leaves, a slight drooping of the stem, like even he couldn’t believe I was finishing the entire pint of ice cream.
Is My Plant Judging My Life Choices? The Wilting Witness
My suspicions began a few weeks ago. I was in the midst of a particularly stressful week – deadlines looming, laundry piling up, the usual chaos. And Percy, bless his photosynthetic heart, started to wilt. Now, I’m no botanist, but I’m pretty sure plants need water, not therapy. But there he was, drooping like a disappointed parent at a parent-teacher conference.
I tried everything. I watered him, gave him plant food, even serenaded him with my best (read: questionable) rendition of “Here Comes the Sun.” Nothing worked. He just sat there, leaves sagging, like he was bearing the weight of my life choices on his delicate stem. It was only when I finally carved out some time for myself – a yoga class, a good book, a moment of blessed silence – that Percy perked up. Coincidence? I think not.
The Silent Treatment: Plant Edition
Then there’s the silent treatment. You know what I’m talking about. You forget to water your plant for a few days (or a week, no judgment here). You finally remember, rush to the sink, and… nothing. Percy remains stubbornly unmoved. No amount of apologizing, no promises of a better watering schedule, can elicit so much as a rustle of leaves. He’s mastered the art of passive-aggressive disapproval, and frankly, I’m a little terrified.