We all have our quirks. Mine just happens to be a nagging suspicion that my peace lily, Ferdinand, is judging my every move. I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. Plants can’t judge, right? They don’t have brains or eyes (well, not in the traditional sense anyway). And yet, there’s something about the way Ferdinand silently observes me from the corner of my living room that sends shivers down my spine.
The Incident That Sparked My Plant Paranoia
It all began a few weeks ago. Picture this: It’s a Friday night, I’m sprawled on the couch in my pajamas, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and the remnants of a Netflix binge-watching marathon. As I shamelessly shove another cold slice into my mouth, I glance up and catch Ferdinand‘s eye (or at least, where his eye would be if he had any).
Is My Plant Passive-Aggressive?
Since then, the “judging” incidents have become more frequent. I swear he wilts dramatically every time I forget to water him, which, okay, fair enough, that one might be on me. But then there’s the subtle leaf-turning whenever I crank up the volume on reality TV, and don’t even get me started on the way he seems to lean away from the TV when I inevitably put on another true crime documentary.
And the worst part? The silent treatment. Ferdinand has mastered the art of pointedly not blooming. I’m talking months, people, months of no delicate white flowers, just an abundance of lush, green foliage and an air of quiet disapproval.
Did My Plant Clean Himself?
Then there was the incident with the dusting. I’ll admit, I’m not the most diligent housekeeper. Sometimes, okay, often, life gets in the way and chores fall by the wayside. But one day, after weeks (okay, maybe months) of neglecting my dusting duties, I returned home to find Ferdinand completely dust-free.