We all have our quirks. Some people talk to their pets, others collect unusual salt and pepper shakers. Me? I’m convinced my houseplant is judging my life choices.

The Side-Eye Heard ‘Round the Living Room

It all started innocently enough. I was gifted this adorable little succulent for my birthday. It sat there on the windowsill, soaking up the sun, seemingly content. But then, something changed. Maybe it was the day I ordered takeout for the third time that week, or perhaps it was when I spent an entire Saturday in my pajamas watching reality TV. Whatever it was, I swear I caught the succulent throwing some serious side-eye my way.

Exhibit A: The Great Wilting Incident of 2023

Now, I’m not one to anthropomorphize plants (okay, maybe a little). But the evidence is mounting. Take, for instance, The Great Wilting Incident of 2023. I was going through a particularly stressful period at work, fueled by copious amounts of coffee and very little sleep. One morning, I stumbled into the living room, bleary-eyed and frazzled, only to find my once-perky plant looking decidedly droopy. Coincidence? I think not.

Naturally, I panicked. Was it getting enough sunlight? Had I overwatered it? Was it…disappointed in me? I frantically Googled “can plants sense stress” and fell down a rabbit hole of articles suggesting that, yes, plants can actually respond to their environment and even the emotions of those around them. Suddenly, my wilting succulent felt less like a houseplant and more like a walking, talking (well, not talking) judgment of my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The Curious Case of the Flourishing Fern

Here’s where it gets even weirder. Encouraged by the possibility of a plant-based wake-up call, I decided to get my act together. I started eating healthier, prioritizing sleep, and even incorporated some light yoga into my routine (don’t judge, my downward dog is a work in progress). And guess what? Not only did I feel better, but my succulent perked right up! Coincidence? Again, I think not.

But the plot thickens! As my succulent thrived under my newfound self-improvement kick, my other houseplant, a previously unremarkable fern, started to…flourish? This fern, which had been content to simply exist in the corner for months, suddenly sprouted new growth and vibrant green fronds. Was it…proud of me? Was this some kind of passive-aggressive plant competition I had unwittingly stumbled into?

Is My Home a Green Courtroom?

Look, I know it sounds crazy. Maybe I’m reading too much into things. Maybe plants don’t actually judge our life choices (or maybe they do, and they’re just too polite to say anything directly). But here’s the thing: whether my houseplants are silently evaluating my every move or not, the very act of believing they are has made me more mindful of my actions.

After all, who wants to disappoint a houseplant?

Do Your Plants Judge You?

Have you ever felt like your houseplants were judging you? Tell me about it in the comments!