The Allure of the Morning Lark
We’ve all been there. Scrolling through Instagram at midnight, we stumble upon a photo of a serene woman sipping coffee as the sun rises. Her caption reads, “Another beautiful day begins! #blessed #morningroutine.”
And for a fleeting moment, we think, “Maybe…just maybe…I could be a morning person too.”
Operation: Sunshine & Smiles (AKA My Morning Routine Fail)
Armed with the best intentions (and a new alarm clock), I set my wake-up call for the ungodly hour of 6:00 AM. My plan was simple, foolproof even:
- Wake up before the sun.
- Meditate with a cup of herbal tea as the birds chirped sweetly.
- Go for a refreshing jog.
- Conquer the day before anyone else had their first cup of coffee.
What actually happened was slightly less Instagram-worthy.
Firstly, my alarm clock might as well have been a siren announcing the apocalypse. I hit snooze approximately seven times before dragging myself out of bed, feeling like I’d aged a decade overnight.
The birds weren’t chirping; they were probably judging me from their nests as I attempted to make tea with my eyes half-closed. Meditation was out of the question. My brain was too busy trying to remember what year it was.
The Jog of Shame and Other Morning Person Misadventures
The “refreshing jog” consisted of me shuffling around the block, desperately trying to look like I wasn’t a walking zombie who had just escaped a sleep clinic. Let’s just say my neighbors got quite the show.