The Day My Stomach Declared War
We’ve all been there. That heart-stopping moment when a morsel of deliciousness escapes your grasp and plummets towards the floor. In those precious milliseconds, your brain frantically calculates trajectory, impact point, and the ever-important “five-second rule“.
For years, I scoffed at this so-called “rule.” Five seconds? Please. That’s like giving bacteria a head start in a marathon! But then came the day my arrogance met its match – and my stomach declared war.
Let’s just say, that rogue fry had other plans. What followed was a weekend I’d rather forget, spent bonding with my bathroom floor and vowing revenge on all things potato-related.
The Great Pizza Debacle of 2023
You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson, right? Alas, the allure of free-falling food proved too strong. Fast forward a few months, and another culinary casualty occurred – this time, a generous slice of pepperoni pizza.
“Three seconds, max!” I declared to my horrified roommate, as if that somehow justified my actions. This time, the consequences were less explosive but no less unpleasant. Let’s just say my digestive system staged a silent protest that left me feeling decidedly un-pizza-like for days.