Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me
The Side-Eye from a Fiddle Leaf Fig
We’ve all been there. You walk into the room, feeling pretty good about yourself, maybe even whistling a little tune, and then you see it. The judgmental stare of someone (or something) who clearly thinks you messed up. Except in my case, it wasn’t my significant other dishing out the disapproval – it was Ferdinand, my fiddle leaf fig.
Exhibit A: The Case of the Forgotten Watering
I’ll admit, I’m not the most attentive plant parent. Okay, sometimes I forget to water Ferdinand for, like, a week. Or two. But in my defense, life gets busy! Between work, social obligations (Netflix counts as socializing, right?), and trying to maintain a semblance of adulthood, remembering to water a plant can slip my mind.
But Ferdinand? He never forgets. Oh no, he makes sure I know exactly how he feels about my neglect. Cue the dramatic wilting, the leaf droop that seems to worsen by the hour, and maybe even a few strategically placed brown spots for good measure.
And the worst part? As soon as I give him a good soak, he perks right back up, leaves gleaming with smug satisfaction. It’s like he’s saying, “See? This is what happens when you pay attention to me, peasant.”
Exhibit B: The Great Repotting Debacle of 2023
Then there was the Great Repotting Debacle of 2023. Ferdinand had clearly outgrown his pot, his roots practically bursting at the seams. I knew it was time to upgrade his living situation, but let’s just say my thumbs aren’t exactly green.