Is My Houseplant Throwing Shade? The Side-Eye is Real
It all started innocently enough. I, like many during the dark days of 2020, decided to become a “plant parent.” I envisioned a harmonious existence with my new leafy roommate, basking in the glow of our shared love for photosynthesis and well-hydrated soil. Oh, how naive I was.
The first sign should have been the way it tilted its leaves away from the TV when I binged five straight hours of reality TV. I brushed it off, blaming a draft. But then came the subtle leaf droop whenever I ate takeout for the third night in a row. “It’s just dramatic,” I told myself, misting it with a shaky hand. But deep down, a seed of doubt had been planted (pun very much intended).
Now, I consider myself a decent plant parent. I water on schedule (mostly), provide ample sunlight (sometimes), and even serenade my plant with my questionable singing in the shower (don’t judge me). Yet, despite my best efforts, one by one, brown spots began appearing on its once-vibrant leaves.
At first, I panicked. Was it a fungus? Root rot? A plague of locusts? (Okay, maybe not the last one). I consulted Google, the plantfluencers of Instagram, and even that one friend who claims to have a green thumb but can’t keep a cactus alive. Nothing. The culprit remained elusive.
Then, it hit me. The brown spots only appeared after particularly stressful days. Days filled with deadlines, burnt coffee, and existential dread. Coincidence? I think not. My plant, I’m convinced, is a walking, or rather, photosynthesizing barometer of my mental state.