The Side-Eye That Started It All
It all started with a particularly rough Tuesday. You know the kind: spilled coffee, missed deadlines, the works. As I sat at my desk, drowning my sorrows in leftover takeout, I glanced up at my usually chipper Monstera deliciosa. And that’s when I saw it. The slightest tilt of a leaf, the subtlest narrowing of…well, whatever counts as eyes on a plant. Was my Monstera, dare I say, judging me?
The Case of the Neglected Watering Can
Take last week, for example. I’d been swamped with work and, in my defense, completely forgot to water my plant. I walked into my living room to find the Monstera looking decidedly droopy. As I scrambled for the watering can, I swear I heard a heavy sigh. Okay, maybe not an audible sigh, but the dramatic drooping definitely seemed like a performance worthy of an Oscar.
And as I watered it, desperately trying to revive my neglected green friend, the thought crossed my mind: “Is it judging my inability to keep a tiny living thing alive? Does it think I’m irresponsible? Unworthy of its leafy presence?” I’m pretty sure I even caught a glimpse of an eye roll (again, probably just the wind from the open window, but STILL).
Monstera vs. My Instagram Feed: The Great Plant-Stagram Scandal
Then there’s the whole Instagram debacle. I’m guilty of being one of those people who love taking pictures of their plants. It’s become a running joke with my friends – how many pictures of the same Monstera can one person post? Apparently, there’s a limit, and according to my plant, I’ve exceeded it.
One morning, I was attempting to get the perfect sun-drenched shot for my plant-obsessed followers. As I adjusted the angle for the tenth time, I swear I heard a rustling sound that sounded suspiciously like a scoff. My Monstera, it seems, values authenticity over perfectly curated Instagram feeds. Who can blame it?