We’ve all been there. You’re sprawled on the couch, two days into a pajamas-only dress code, when suddenly you lock eyes with your seemingly innocent houseplant. And that’s when it hits you – that subtle, leafy side-eye. Is it judgment? Pity? Or just my imagination running wild on lukewarm coffee and leftover takeout?
Signs Your Houseplant Might Be Judging You
The Great Watering Debacle of 2023
My suspicions began, as most plant-related dramas do, with watering. I’m a notorious over-waterer. It’s a fatal flaw, I know. My partner lovingly refers to it as my “plant drowning kink.” (It’s not a kink, Greg, it’s called affection! …Okay, maybe a little bit of a kink.)
Anyway, the other day I’m giving Philodendron Phil a good soak (yes, I name my plants, don’t judge), when I catch a glimpse of his leaves. They’re drooping. Not the thirsty kind of drooping, mind you, but the “I’m so disappointed in your inability to grasp basic plant care” kind of drooping. The kind that says, “Seriously, Brenda, we’ve talked about this.” It was enough to make me put down the watering can and contemplate my life choices (and my inability to keep a houseplant alive longer than six months).
