Grocery Rebel
The other day, I was in my usual state of blissful ignorance, meandering through the grocery store with the grace of a runaway shopping cart. I had my headphones in, blasting 80s power ballads (don’t judge), and was happily piling avocados into my basket—completely out of order, might I add—when I felt it. That icy glare boring into the back of my skull. You know the one. It’s the look that screams, “You’re going the wrong way!”
And then it hit me. I’m a grocery rebel. I don’t just bend the unspoken rules of supermarket navigation; I grab them by the kale and waltz them right out the door.
The Produce Perimeter Paradox
Let’s start with the “perimeter rule.” Apparently, seasoned shoppers know to meticulously circle the outer edges of the store first, gathering their fresh produce, dairy, and proteins like highly organized hunter-gatherers. This is followed by a calculated foray into the perilous aisles of processed doom, where only the strong survive.
