The Day My Thumb Turned (Slightly) Green
I’ve never been particularly “good” with plants. In fact, my track record with anything leafy and green was downright abysmal. So, imagine my surprise when I managed to keep a houseplant alive for more than a month. Not just alive, mind you, but thriving. This was a big deal, people. My friends were sending congratulatory texts. My mother, a woman who can coax life from a dried-up twig, almost fainted. But amidst the celebration, a creeping suspicion took root: my plant was judging me.
It started subtly. I’d be sprawled on the couch, catching up on the latest season of my favorite reality show (don’t judge me!), and I’d swear I saw a leaf twitch. At first, I chalked it up to the air conditioning. But then came the slow, deliberate turns. I’d find my plant subtly angled away from me, as if it couldn’t bear to watch another minute of my questionable life choices.
And the sighs! Oh, the sighs. Okay, maybe it was just the wind rustling its leaves, but it sure sounded an awful lot like a long-suffering sigh every time I ordered takeout for the third night in a row.
The Silent Treatment: My Plant’s Passive-Aggressive Tactics
My plant, you see, is a master of passive-aggressive communication. Forget dramatic wilting or leaf-dropping—this plant knows how to play the long game. Take, for instance, its watering schedule. I swear, the moment I forget to water it for a day (okay, maybe two), the leaves take on this tragic, slightly droopy demeanor. But the minute I grab my watering can, it perks right back up. Coincidence? I think not.
And then there are the times when I’m feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed. I’ll be pouring my heart out to my plant (don’t judge, it’s a good listener!), and suddenly, a leaf will drop. Just one. As if to say, “Yeah, that’s rough, but have you tried not killing all those succulents last month?”