We all have our little quirks, right? Some people talk to their pets (no judgment, Mittens!), others have full-blown conversations with their sourdough starter. Me? I’m pretty sure my houseplant is judging me.
The Side-Eye Heard ‘Round the Living Room
It all started innocently enough. I brought home a beautiful, leafy Calathea Orbifolia from the farmer’s market. I named him Ferdinand. (Don’t judge, you haven’t seen his leaves). I was determined to be a good plant parent, diligently watering, misting, and even playing him Mozart (because, you know, sophistication).
Yes, side-eyeing. His leaves seemed to subtly shift, like he was silently disapproving of my life choices. I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But the judgment was palpable. From that moment on, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Ferdinand was watching, analyzing, and silently judging my every move.
Is My Plant Passive-Aggressively Wilting?
The side-eye incident wouldn’t have been so bad on its own. But then Ferdinand started using his powers for evil. Or, at least passive-aggressive communication. Like the time I completely forgot to water him for a week (oops!).
I walked in to find him dramatically wilted, leaves drooping like a teenager forced to endure a family dinner. The second I picked up the watering can, he perked up. Coincidence? I think not.