We’ve all been there. You know, that moment you lock eyes with your perfectly-perky houseplant and realize… it’s judging you. Okay, maybe not literally judging (though, who knows what those silent green beings are thinking?), but the comparison is hard to ignore.
Exhibit A: The Wilting Ego & the Flourishing Fern
It all started innocently enough. I, a self-proclaimed plant enthusiast, brought home a beautiful Boston fern. I envisioned us living our best lives together—me, a successful novelist, and Fernie (yes, I name my plants, don’t judge), gracefully cascading over my writing desk.
It was during one of these “low moments” that I caught Fernie‘s eye. Or rather, the spot where its eye would be if plants had eyes. And let me tell you, the judgment was palpable. It was as if it was saying, “Look at you, with your writer’s block and questionable hygiene. Meanwhile, I’m over here photosynthesizing like a boss.”
Exhibit B: My Succulent, the Accidental Life Coach
As if Fernie’s silent judgment wasn’t enough, my succulent, Simon, decided to join the party. Now, Simon is a stoic little guy, all plump leaves and quiet resilience. He’s the epitome of “low maintenance,” thriving on neglect and the occasional splash of water.