Let’s be honest, we all talk to our plants. It’s practically a rite of passage for plant parents. But lately, my conversations with Ferdinand the Fern have taken a turn for the weird. I’m starting to think he’s not just listening, he’s judging. And honestly? He’s probably got some pretty solid grounds for it.
The Incident That Sparked My Plant Paranoia
It all started with a particularly rough day. Work was a nightmare, my commute was worse, and I came home to find I’d left my freshly bought groceries on the counter – unrefrigerated – all day. As I surveyed the damage, muttering to myself about my sheer incompetence, I caught Ferdinand‘s eye. Or at least, the plant equivalent.
Is My Plant Judging My Dating Life?
Since that fateful day, I’ve become hyper-aware of Ferdinand’s every rustle and sway. Take last week, for example. I was swiping through a dating app, desperately trying to find someone who didn’t list “long walks on the beach” as their only hobby, when I swear Ferdinand’s fronds did a dramatic shiver.