My Personal Elevator Nightmare

You know that feeling when you’re crammed into a packed elevator, everyone’s awkwardly avoiding eye contact, and suddenly, someone lets out a massive, echoing burp?

Yeah, that happened to me.

It was rush hour, I was already running late for a big meeting, and this symphony of stomach noises filled the air. Everyone tried to pretend it didn’t happen, but the sheer awkwardness was palpable. It felt like we were trapped in a moving sardine can with a rogue whoopie cushion.

That, my friends, was my initiation into the bizarre world of elevator etiquette, where unspoken rules reign supreme and the slightest misstep can turn a short ride into an exercise in social anxiety.

The “Close Talker” and Other Elevator Etiquette Offenders

We’ve all encountered them – the elevator rule breakers. These individuals seem completely oblivious to the unspoken code of conduct that governs the metal box of awkwardness. Let me introduce you to a few familiar faces:

1. The “Close Talker”: This person stands uncomfortably close, their breath tickling your ear as they narrate their entire morning commute. Personal space? Never heard of it.
2. The “Button Masher”: They frantically slam the “close door” button as if possessed, even though the doors are already closing at their regular, non-negotiable pace.
3. The “Phone Conversationalist”: Oblivious to the captive audience around them, they proceed to have a loud, one-sided conversation about highly personal matters. We never wanted to know about your Aunt Mildred’s bunions, Brenda!

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