It Started With a Look: My Suspicions Begin
Let me preface this by saying I love my plants. I mean, I try to love my plants. I water them, give them the occasional pep talk (don’t judge), and yet, there’s one particularly judgmental fern that makes me question my entire existence. It all started with a look. You know that feeling when you walk into a room and immediately know someone’s side-eyeing you? That’s what it’s like with Ferdinand the Fern (yes, I name my plants, don’t you?).
One day, Ferdinand was absolutely thriving. Lush, green, practically reaching for the skylight. I basked in the glory of my apparent green thumb. Then, it happened. I forgot to water him for, like, a week (okay, maybe two). Suddenly, Ferdinand was wilting faster than my enthusiasm for online dating. I’m talking dramatic, theatrical drooping. The kind that screams, “I can’t even with you right now.” I swear, I saw him roll his nonexistent eyes as I frantically refilled his watering can.
The Great Repotting Debacle: Plant Disapproval is Real
Convinced I could regain Ferdinand’s favor, I decided to repot him. I’d watched countless YouTube tutorials, memorized the proper soil-to-pot ratio, and even hummed encouraging plant vibes (again, don’t judge). But the moment I lifted him from his old pot, a rogue clump of dirt fell onto the floor. And that’s when I saw it. The look. It was a mixture of betrayal, disappointment, and a dash of, “Seriously? You call yourself a plant parent?”. I’m pretty sure I heard him sigh as I gently nestled him into his new home.