The Dawn of My (Short-Lived) Morning Routine

Let’s be honest, I’ve never been one to greet the sunrise with open arms. More like a grumpy squint and a desperate plea for five more minutes. But then came that fateful day when I stumbled upon an article titled “How to Become a Morning Person and Conquer the World!” Filled with a potent cocktail of naiveté and ambition, I decided to embark on this ill-advised quest.

Oh, the things we do after one too many episodes of overly-optimistic morning routine vlogs. I pictured myself, a vision of productivity, sipping green smoothies in the soft glow of dawn while jotting down life-changing goals in a gratitude journal. Yeah, about that…

Operation: Rise and (Sort of) Shine

My first mistake? Setting my alarm for a whole hour earlier than usual. I mean, we’re talking pre-dawn, birds-are-still-sleeping early. The first morning was like trying to wake a hibernating bear. After hitting snooze enough times to write a symphony, I stumbled out of bed, feeling less like a productivity guru and more like a zombie extra from The Walking Dead.

Remember that green smoothie I was dreaming about? Let’s just say my blender and I had a bit of a disagreement. It ended with a spinach explosion that would make Popeye himself weep.

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