The 5 AM Pact (That Didn’t Last)
I’ve always envied those mythical creatures known as “morning people.” You know the type – they bounce out of bed before the sun rises, chirping about sunshine and productivity while I’m still wrestling with the existential dread of leaving my warm cocoon of blankets. So, fueled by a potent cocktail of Instagram inspiration and New Year’s resolution delusion, I decided to join their ranks. I would become a Morning Person, capital M, capital P. I even managed to convince my equally sleep-deprived best friend to join me on this ill-advised journey. We made a pact: 5 AM wake-up calls, every day, no excuses. Reader, it was a disaster of epic proportions.
The Great Sleep-In Rebellion of 2023
Then came the fateful day when my alarm clock went off at its usual ungodly hour, and something inside me snapped. It wasn’t a dramatic snap, more like the quiet, resigned sigh of a deflating balloon. “Nope,” my brain whispered, “We’re done with this nonsense.” And so, I did the unthinkable. I turned off the alarm, rolled over, and went back to sleep. No guilt, no shame, just pure, unadulterated slumber. It was glorious. My friend, unsurprisingly, had a similar epiphany around the same time. We later shared a knowing look over a plate of shame-free pancakes at noon, our brief and ill-fated foray into the world of morning people officially over.