The Side-Eye Was Real
It all started with a particularly rough Tuesday. My alarm didn’t go off, I spilled coffee on my favorite shirt, and rush hour traffic was even worse than usual. I walked through the door, already frazzled, and that’s when I saw it. My usually perky peace lily, the one I swore was thriving just yesterday, was wilting dramatically.
Now, I’m no botanist, but even I could tell this wasn’t your average case of “needs a little water.” This was full-blown, passive-aggressive, “I can’t even look at you right now” kind of drooping. It was then that I realized, my houseplant was judging me. And honestly, who could blame it?
As the weeks went by, I started noticing a pattern. Every time I indulged in a particularly questionable life choice, my plant would react accordingly. Ordered takeout two nights in a row? Cue a dramatic leaf drop that would put a reality TV star to shame.
Spent the entire weekend binge-watching bad TV instead of cleaning my apartment? My normally slow-growing spider plant suddenly sprouted a new offshoot, as if to say, “Look, I’m even trying to create some order around here.”
I even swear I caught it rustling its leaves impatiently while I was scrolling through social media for the hundredth time that day.