The 5 AM Pact (and How I Broke It)
My alarm clock blared a cheerful “Good Morning!” at the ungodly hour of 5:00 AM. I’m pretty sure the only appropriate greeting at that hour is a low growl, but whatever. I had made a pact with myself. No, scratch that. It was more like a flimsy truce, negotiated between me and the concept of becoming a “morning person.” You know the type—those annoyingly chipper folks who practically bounce out of bed, already halfway through a workout by the time you’ve managed to locate your own two feet.
The night before, I had been seized by a fit of inspiration (delusion?) fueled by one too many motivational Instagram posts. “I can do this!” I declared to my bewildered cat, who frankly looked like I had suggested we start speaking fluent Mandarin.
The Accidental Nap Debacle
Here’s the thing about trying to become a morning person when you’re a card-carrying member of the Night Owl Society: your body rebels. Oh, it rebels good. By mid-morning, I was running on fumes, fueled by nothing but sheer willpower and an increasingly potent coffee IV drip (figuratively speaking, of course).
Then it happened. The dreaded afternoon slump hit me like a rogue wave, dragging me down to the depths of sleepiness. I told myself it was just a five-minute power nap. I woke up two hours later, sprawled out on the couch, a half-eaten bag of chips resting precariously on my chest. My cat, the traitor, was curled up next to me, purring with smug satisfaction.