The Great Phone Number Mix-Up of 2023 (And Why I Still Answer to ‘Brenda‘)

We’ve all been there. You answer a call from an unknown number, bracing yourself for the inevitable robotic voice or, even worse, deafening silence. But what happens when the voice on the other end knows your name? Well, not your name, but close enough.

The Case of the Missing Digit (and the Persistent Pizza Place)

My saga began innocently enough. It was a Tuesday (or maybe a Wednesday, time loses all meaning when you’re drowning in wrong numbers), and my phone buzzed with a call from a local area code. I answered cautiously, “Hello?”

“Hi, is Brenda there?” a chipper voice chirped back.

“Uh, you’ve got the wrong number,” I replied, already mentally preparing to hang up.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Is this [my phone number]?” the voice asked, reciting my number with perfect accuracy.

Now, I’m not one to argue with facts. “Yes, this is that number, but I’m not Brenda,” I confirmed, thoroughly confused.

And so began a week-long odyssey of calls from the same pizza place, each time inquiring after the elusive Brenda. I politely explained the situation, they apologized profusely, and yet, like a bad slice of pizza, the calls kept coming back. I even considered changing my voicemail greeting to “Brenda’s Pizzeria, how can I take your order?” but decided against it (mostly).

The Telemarketer Who Thought I Was His Long-Lost Love (Awkward)

If you thought a persistent pizza place was bad, buckle up. One sunny afternoon, my phone rang with a different unfamiliar number. This time, the voice on the other end was smooth, almost seductive.

“Brenda, darling, is that you?” he purred.