Is My Houseplant Silently Judging My Life Choices? (The Evidence is Compelling)



The Case of the Wilting Peace Lily: Do Houseplants Judge Us?

We’ve all been there. You’re sprawled on the couch, three episodes deep into a true crime documentary, surrounded by empty snack wrappers. The glow of the television illuminates the dust bunnies congregating in the corner. And then you see it – a look from across the room. A look that seems to say, “Really? This is what you’re doing with your life?”

I’m talking, of course, about my houseplant, Ferdinand.

Ferdinand is a peace lily, a supposedly “easy” plant for beginners. I, armed with the unbridled optimism of someone who has never successfully kept a plant alive for more than a few weeks, welcomed him into my home with open arms. We were going to thrive together, I just knew it.

Ferdinand seemed happy, even perky. But then, slowly, subtly, he began to change. His leaves drooped, his once vibrant green fading to a sickly yellow. I panicked. Was he getting too much sun? Not enough? Did I overwater? Underwater? Was there a draft? I googled frantically, desperately trying to decipher the cryptic language of houseplant ailments.

Finally, after days of research and what felt like an eternity of Ferdinand‘s silent judgment, I discovered the culprit: inconsistent watering. It seemed my sporadic schedule of remembering to water him whenever I happened to be in the kitchen with a glass of water wasn’t cutting it. Ferdinand, in his own passive-aggressive way, was letting me know that my lack of routine was, well, cramping his style.

Can Succulents Judge? The Side-Eye Struggle is Real

Ferdinand isn’t my only plant. I also have a collection of succulents, those adorable little desert dwellers that are supposed to be impossible to kill. And yet, even they seem to be casting aspersions my way.