My Life as a Faux Tech Wizard
Okay, picture this: I’m at a family gathering, innocently sipping my iced tea, when my Aunt Susan corners me. Eyes wide with panic, she shoves her smartphone in my face. “It’s doing that thing again!” she cries. Now, I love Aunt Susan, but let’s just say “tech-savvy” isn’t on her list of attributes. And me? I once spent an hour trying to turn on the TV with the microwave remote.
But, for some reason, people seem to think I possess hidden technological superpowers. Maybe it’s the way I can navigate Netflix without accidentally watching Is It Cake? again. Whatever the reason, I’ve become the go-to “expert” for all things digital, despite my best efforts to maintain a low profile.
After a 20-minute conversation that involved more squirrel conspiracy theories than I ever thought possible, it turned out Mr. Henderson had simply forgotten to pay his internet bill. The relief on his face when I reminded him was almost comical. “Oh, right,” he chuckled, “Silly me!” From that day forward, I became the unofficial squirrel-internet mediator of our street.
The Great Printer Rebellion of 2023
Then there was the time my friend Sarah messaged me, frantic because her printer was “possessed.” Apparently, it was printing gibberish instead of her important work documents. She even sent me a picture of the demonic scribbles as proof. Now, I’m no exorcist, but I do have a knack for Googling obscure error codes.
Turns out, Sarah had accidentally switched her font to something called “Wingdings.” Mystery solved! She was both mortified and incredibly impressed. “You’re a lifesaver!” she exclaimed. Little did she know, I was one Google search away from suggesting we sprinkle holy water on the printer.