My Cart, My Playground
The other day, I found myself doing a full-on pirouette in the middle of the dairy aisle, dodging a rogue shopping cart like it was a runaway rodeo bull. As I narrowly avoided a collision with a pyramid of yogurt containers, it hit me: I am a grocery store rebel. I don’t play by the rules, the unspoken ones that seem to govern the average shopper’s journey through this fluorescent-lit labyrinth of consumerism.
You know the rules I’m talking about, right? The ones that dictate you must start in produce, navigate the perimeter, and only then venture into the depths of the center aisles? Yeah, well, I’m here to tell you, I wrote my own rulebook, and it’s titled “Chaos in Cart 12.”
The Produce Perimeter: A Myth I Refuse to Entertain
Let’s start with this whole “produce perimeter” thing. Apparently, it’s designed to trick us into thinking we’re healthy by bombarding us with vibrant colors and the scent of fresh herbs before we even reach the Oreos. Well, joke’s on them, because I’m going straight for the coffee.
