From Line-Stander Zero to Line-Stander Hero
Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys standing in line. We do it for concert tickets, new phone releases, hyped-up bakery treats – the things we tell ourselves are worth the wait. I used to be a complete novice, a Line-Stander Zero if you will. I’d shift my weight awkwardly, check my phone every 3.2 seconds, and exude an aura of “Please don’t talk to me, I’m just trying to survive this queue.” But then it happened. The Great Cronut Incident of 2023.
Respecting the Line-Standing Proximity Bubble
You know that invisible force field we all have, that expands and contracts depending on how comfortable we are? Yeah, that’s magnified tenfold in a line. It’s not personal, it’s spatial awareness. Respect the bubble. Don’t be the person breathing down someone’s neck, humming along to their headphones, or worse – starting a full-blown conversation. Trust me, nobody wants to hear your life story while waiting for the Apple Store to open.
- Pro-tip: A good rule of thumb is to maintain a distance of at least one outstretched grocery bag. It shows you’re aware of their existence without seeming standoffish.
The Art of the Line Cut: Don’t Be That Person
We’ve all seen it happen – the sly sidle, the “Oh, I didn’t see the line” excuse, the blatant disregard for the queue’s very existence. Line-cutters are the villains of this narrative, and nobody wants to be “that person.” But sometimes, life throws curveballs. You need to use the restroom urgently, your kid wandered off to admire a pigeon – these are acceptable excuses, but only with proper protocol.
- Politely inform the person behind you of your situation. Emphasize that you’ll be quick and will return to your rightful spot.
- If possible, find a line buddy. Ask someone nearby to hold your place, ensuring a smooth return and preventing any awkward “Did he cut the line?” whispers.
Finding Camaraderie While You Wait (Optional)
Look, I get it. Small talk isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But sometimes, the shared experience of enduring a seemingly endless line can foster a sense of camaraderie. You might exchange knowing glances with the person who just sighed dramatically, or share a laugh with the mom trying to wrangle her over-sugared toddler. Remember, these are fellow humans united by a common goal (that guava cronut, anyone?).