The 5 AM Pact (That Quickly Became a 7:45 AM Reality)
My alarm clock shrieked. 5 AM. “Who even invented this ungodly hour?” I groaned, swatting blindly at the source of the noise. It was one of those mornings. You know the ones, where your dreams are a bizarre montage of Ryan Reynolds riding a unicorn and your childhood dentist offering you tax advice? Yeah, leaving that for the cold reality of pre-dawn was not high on my agenda.
But this time was different. This time, I was determined. I had joined the ranks of the overly ambitious and downloaded a meditation app, bought a sunrise alarm clock (still not sure what I was thinking there), and even contemplated jogging. Okay, maybe “contemplated” is a strong word. I briefly considered the concept of jogging while simultaneously pouring another cup of coffee. The point is, I was going to be a morning person, darn it!
The first week was a blur of caffeine and dry shampoo. I stumbled through my mornings like a zombie on a quest for stronger coffee. My meditation app politely suggested I “focus on my breath” while I internally debated the merits of throwing my phone across the room.
My to-do list, once a beacon of productivity, now mocked me with its untouched glory. “Write a blog post about becoming a morning person,” it taunted. The irony was not lost on me.
- Day 1: Successfully woke up at 5 AM. Went back to sleep until 7:45 AM.
- Day 3: Discovered the joys of “power napping” at my desk. Turns out, they’re not so powerful when your boss catches you.
- Day 5: Successfully made it to a 6 AM yoga class. Spent the entire time fantasizing about breakfast burritos.
Week 2: Embracing My Inner Night Owl (Snooze Button and All)
By week two, reality had set in. My sunrise alarm clock was gathering dust, replaced by the comforting glow of my phone screen and the sweet, sweet sound of the snooze button. I had accepted my fate. I was not, nor would I ever be, a morning person.
Don’t get me wrong, I admire you early birds. I envy your ability to function before noon, your chipper morning greetings, and your suspiciously perky Instagram stories featuring green smoothies and perfectly aligned avocado toast. But for me, happiness is a warm bed, a good book, and the blissful knowledge that the alarm clock is silent (for now).