My Trial by Fire: The Cronut Burger That Tested My Patience
Last week, I found myself in a queue that snaked around the block, longer than a CVS receipt after a buy-one-get-one-free sale. It was for a cronut burger, obviously (don’t judge). As I stood there, baking in the sun and contemplating the life choices that led me to this point, I realized something profound: there’s an art to being a line-standbyer, a certain unspoken code of conduct we all must follow.
- Volume Control: No one wants to hear your cat videos or your boss yelling at you for being “sick” again. Keep it down, champ.
- The Side-Eye Scroll: Discreetly checking your phone is acceptable. Frantically scrolling through social media while cackling maniacally? Not so much.
- The “Can You Hold My Spot?” Conundrum: If you absolutely MUST leave the line, ask the person behind you to hold your spot. But remember, their kindness is a precious gift, not a right. Return promptly, and maybe offer them a cronut burger as a peace offering.
Rule #2: Mastering the Art of Small Talk (Or Gracefully Avoiding It)
Depending on your personality and the length of the line, you may find yourself engaging in small talk with your fellow inmates, er, I mean, line-standers. Here’s the deal:
- The Weather Opener: A classic for a reason. It’s safe, inoffensive, and everyone has an opinion on the weather (usually negative, if we’re being honest).
- The Shared Misery Bond: Complaining about the wait is practically mandatory. It’s a bonding ritual, a way to commiserate and collectively will the line to move faster (it won’t).
- The Escape Artist: Not in the mood for chit-chat? Headphones are your best friend. Pop those bad boys in, and you’re instantly transported to a world where awkward small talk doesn’t exist. It’s magical.