Why I’m Convinced My Plant Is Judging My Life Choices
The Side-Eye Heard ‘Round the Living Room
It all started with a subtle shift in posture. My beloved fiddle-leaf fig, Ferdinand, seemed to lean slightly away as I devoured a bag of chips on the couch. “It’s fine,” I reassured myself, “he’s just stretching towards the light.” But then it happened again. This time, as I scrolled through dating apps for the third hour straight, a new leaf unfurled… in the opposite direction. Coincidence? I think not.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “She’s lost it. Plants can’t judge!” And you’re probably right. But hear me out. There’s something about the silent observation of a houseplant, the way they thrive (or wither) depending on your care, that makes you hyper-aware of your own choices. It’s like having a tiny, leafy life coach who communicates solely through wilting and strategic growth spurts.
I swear, the judgment was palpable. I mean, who could blame him? I wouldn’t be too happy if someone forgot to feed me for a week either. Needless to say, I showered Ferdinand with apologies (and a generous amount of water) and vowed to be a more attentive plant parent. The experience was a stark reminder that even in my plant-care duties, consistency is key.
Growth Spurts and Life Lessons
But it’s not always doom and gloom with Ferdinand. He also has this uncanny ability to thrive during periods of personal growth. Remember that time I finally finished that creative project I’d been procrastinating on for months? Ferdinand celebrated with a brand-new leaf, unfurling gloriously like a green high-five.
And when I finally mustered the courage to have that difficult conversation I’d been avoiding? He sprouted a new branch, reaching towards the sunlight as if to say, “Good job, you brave little human! Now go forth and conquer!”