We’ve all been there. You’re sprawled on the couch, three episodes deep into a reality TV marathon you swore you’d never watch, and you catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye. No, it’s not a spider (thank goodness) – it’s your plant. And for a fleeting, irrational moment, you swear it’s judging you.
The Side-Eye From My ZZ Plant
It all started innocently enough. I, like many others during the pandemic, decided to become a Plant Parent™. I envisioned a home filled with lush greenery, a testament to my newfound nurturing abilities. I envisioned wrong. My thumb, it turns out, is less green and more… beige. But I digress. The point is, I brought home a perfectly lovely ZZ plant, named him Ferdinand, and placed him on my bookshelf.
At first, things were great. Ferdinand, being a ZZ plant, required minimal care. I’d remember to water him every few weeks, give his leaves a cursory dust, and that was that. But then, slowly, I started noticing it. The side-eye. Every time I’d stumble into the living room, bleary-eyed and clutching my third cup of coffee, I’d swear Ferdinand was looking at me differently. Less “proud plant parent” and more “disappointed life coach.”
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