Okay, hear me out. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m starting to think Beatrice, my prize-winning peace lily, is judging me. And not just a little side-eye judgment – I’m talking full-on, disapproving-aunt-at-Thanksgiving levels of judgment.
The Case of the Wilting Leaves (and My Crumbling Life)
It all started innocently enough. I’d been neglecting Beatrice a tad – okay, maybe more than a tad. Life got busy, deadlines loomed, and watering my plant slipped my mind (along with basic hygiene and the concept of a balanced meal). One morning, I stumbled past Beatrice, bleary-eyed and fueled by coffee, only to find her usually perky leaves drooping like a sad, green fountain.
Exhibit B: My Houseplant’s Suspicious Growth Spurt
Now, I’m not one to brag (okay, maybe a little), but I am not known for my green thumb. My thumbs are more of the “accidentally-kills-cacti” variety. So, imagine my surprise when, after the Great Wilting Incident of 2023, Beatrice took off like a rocket. New leaves unfurled with alarming speed, each one seemingly greener and glossier than the last. She was thriving…while I was barely surviving on instant ramen and the dregs of ambition.
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