The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (and Why I Break Them All)

My Hilarious Elevator Etiquette Fails

Let’s be honest, elevators are weird. They’re these metal boxes of forced intimacy hurtling us through the air, all while we pretend we’re not crammed together like sardines on a budget airline. And the unspoken rules? Don’t even get me started.

I vividly recall my first “elevator etiquette fail.” Fresh out of college and eager to impress at my new job, I stepped into the elevator, brimming with nervous energy. An older gentleman joined me. Silence. More silence. Then, a desperate attempt at conversation on my part that went down like a lead balloon. From that day forward, I was determined to crack the code of elevator etiquette, only to realize…it’s all a bit ridiculous.

The Art of (Not) Pushing Elevator Buttons

Rule number one of Elevator Club: Thou shalt master the art of the button. You know the drill. Someone timidly murmurs, “Floor 12, please?” and suddenly, you’re the designated button pusher, responsible for the hopes and dreams (and timely arrival) of everyone onboard.

But here’s where I break the mold. I’m a firm believer in what I call “the preemptive strike.” The moment I step inside, I unleash a friendly, “Anyone need this one?” while hovering over a random button. The result? People are either highly amused or slightly terrified. Either way, it’s a win in my book.

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